Harassers have immature interpersonal skills.
KanamiTsuno In an interview with the Asahi Shimbun, I made the statement that "harassers have immature interpersonal skills," but this is not my own theory. This is not a theory of mine, but something that has already been proven in various studies. In fact, harassers have a peculiar juvenile nature. The boundaries between self and others are blurred, and the ability to read the impact of one's words and actions on others and their feelings is low. KanamiTsuno This kind of low emotional intelligence is associated not only with harassing behavior but also with aggressive behavior toward others in general. In order to increase emotional intelligence, cognitive restructuring methods that separate actual events from one's thoughts and feelings, as well as training to increase cognitive complexity, are effective. Simply pointing out behavior does not lead to behavior change →. KanamiTsuno Conversely, if, when you are harassed, you think, "This person is still developing (emotional control and the skills to recognize and respect multiple aspects of the other person's situation). If you think, "This person is still developing (the skills of emotional control and recognizing and respecting multiple aspects of the other person's situation)," the other person will not be a scary presence. The same goes for the person who suddenly snaps and yells at you, the person who drives aggressively, or the person who harasses you in the home. KanamiTsuno I would say that they behave that way because of their immaturity. In addition, it is known that emotional intelligence can be improved by training, but it requires continuous training, just as muscle training for one day does not suddenly make you macho. Low emotional intelligence at the top of the organization and at the executive level increases the number of victims, so at least →. KanamiTsuno Upper level employees should be promoted after determining the maturity of these interpersonal skills, or after increasing their emotional intelligence through adequate training. I would like to see this happen in person-to-person relationships. In a person-to-person relationship, if you are hit by someone who attacks you in this way, it is better to take a firm stand and keep your distance (as much as possible). →. KanamiTsuno I just don't want to make fun of harassers or people who lose their temper easily because of their immature interpersonal skills, like "that person is immaturewww". I don't want it to be used as material. In some cases, the fact that the person has aged without acquiring those skills can be attributed to the fact that they just didn't happen to have the opportunity or that those around them have allowed it. →. KanamiTsuno So, I would like you to clearly tell them that their words and actions are not acceptable, and if possible, give them opportunities for education and growth. Also, it is important to recognize that you are an immature person to begin with (although the degree of immaturity varies from person to person). Interpersonal skills can be developed as much as you want, so you just have to work on them every day. KanamiTsuno Emotional intelligence is also explained in this book! If you haven't read it yet, please do so. yota1029 Dr. Tsuno, I learned a lot from your series of posts. I am aware of my "immature interpersonal skills," "blurred boundaries between self and others," and "peculiar childishness," etc., and I would like to improve them. KanamiTsuno Since cognitive restructuring is a part of cognitive behavioral therapy, there are many workbooks published on the subject. I can't say which one specifically because I think it depends on your preferences, but I would suggest that you look at reviews and other information and choose one! ---
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